Breaking Dawn = Breaking Dull (Spoilers Alert)
At long last, I have finally completed the mind-numbing, brain cell-draining exercise of reading “Breaking Dawn,” the fourth and final book in the Twilight saga. I loved the other books, so I determindely trudged through this one, even though I came to call it ‘”Breaking Bad” or “Breaking my Brain with Boredom.” And even though I don’t pan books here, I feel a mega bestseller is exempt because 16% of all books sold last quarter were written by Stephenie Meyer, so a negative review by me won’t ruin her.
Let’s start with a few basic issues.
1. Nothing happened for about 600 pages
2. That is unless you count being pregnant and then loving your half-vampire half-human child as something happening
3. When something finally happened, it was still nothing
4. Like, how about mixing in an actual BATTLE with the Volturi? All the Volturi did was talk, talk, talk with the Cullens and their witnesses. Yeah, there was Bella throwing her mental shield. Ho-hum. There was Jane failing to penetrate it. Ho-hum.
5. Would it have killed the vampires to actually fight?
6. I would have been OK with some characters dying off in an epic battle of good versus evil. J.K. Rowling had the guts to kill off several beloved characters and Voldemort and Harry actually FOUGHT in the end. They didn’t just chit chat and admire each other’s tchtckes.
7. The idea that Charlie just didn’t want to ask questions about his suddenly supermodel and pale-faced daughter was a cop-out
8. Finally, the other half-vampire half-human child Alice just so happened to locate out of nowhere at the very last minute was the worst (or best) example of Deus Ex Machina I have read in ages. And Deus Ex Machina is totally not rewarding for readers who have invested time and pages and mental energy.
